Do you dread the holidays because you have to spend time with your family, your spouse’s family, and/or extended family? Do you look for any excuse to get out of those visits?
Have you ever looked at your family and thought, “We put the ‘func’ in dysfunctional”?
I am blessed. I love my sister and parents, and we get along wonderfully. Both sets of grandparents were awesome. I knew all my cousins, and I looked forward to the holidays when we would get to see each other. I know this is not the norm though.
But if you think you’re family get-togethers resemble more like a WWE smack-down, you aren’t alone. As a matter of fact, this is probably more the norm than the Norman Rockwell portrait of the American family in his Freedom from Want print.
How about this for family dysfunction?
A grandmother who was a prostitute.
Another grandmother who dressed as a prostitute to get pregnant by her father-in-law – that’s Jerry Springer material, and I’m not even making this stuff up.
A grandfather who was an adulterer and murderer.
A grandfather who was a polygamist.
A grandfather who was a mischievous conniver, and one grandfather was a drunk.
Now if you consider siblings, let’s just say none of them were initially a fan of the oldest child, and he was illegitimate by today’s standards.
Things in this family really couldn’t be much seedier. It’s a family tree you didn’t want to shake for fear of what would fall out. How does this make you feel about your family? Feel any better?
You may have guessed it by now, but that family was the lineage of Jesus. His lineage was full of dysfunctional people. From Rahab to Tamar, from David, Solomon, Jacob and Noah, Jesus’ family tree was one riddled with sinners, backsliders, and hypocrites. And yet, He came to earth to die for the sinners, backsliders, hypocrites, prostitutes, adulterers, polygamist, connivers and drunks. What a load to bear!
I want to encourage you to find one person in your family who grinds on your ever-lovin’-last nerve and compare that person’s story to someone similar in Jesus’ lineage. I want you to pray for that person before you have to encounter them. Ask God to allow you to see that relative the way He sees them. Pray it over and over and over. Pray it before, during, and after the visit. Withhold judgment, and look for ways to pray for them and even encourage them.
Who knows? You might be the one who irritates them the most.
God is in the healing business. He is in the restoration business. He is in the forgiving business, and we are to be about our Father’s business.
The hardest people to reach for Christ are those who are in our own families sometimes because we share a history and we sit in the seat of judgment because we know their history. If this is you, I’d highly recommend you find out what the Word has to say about your position. It’s not pleasant.
The sin that nailed Jesus to the cross is the same for you as it is for the person who is a thorn in your side. The redemption you have claimed is the same redemption that is available to your family member no matter how many times they have messed up. This doesn’t mean you are to be a doormat. What it does mean is you don’t give up presenting Christ to them, and what better time to be the hands and feet of Jesus than at Christmas?