As I write these blogs, speak or teach, I am very transparent and vulnerable, but believe it or not there are times when God deals with me for my own good solely. There are things between myself and God I don’t reveal, and if I do it’s at His direction. One time God was leading me and dealing with me privately, when a girlfriend of mine caught a glimpse or saw one aspect of what was going on in my life.
After just seeing one small piece of my life, she began telling me how the cow ate the cabbage. If you don’t speak southern, it means she began telling me how I needed to be doing things. Truth is what she said made perfect sense to her, but she had no clue what was going on behind the scenes. She had no clue what God had been revealing to me which was in total contradiction to the words coming out of her mouth.
She wasn’t speaking God’s truth over me or to me. She was speaking her truth. She never even asked questions to dig below the surface. She just started banging me over the head with her truth.
With friends like these, who needs enemies? Have you ever heard that said? That’s what I felt like, and I’m wondering if that is what Job felt like with his three friends.
There are several things I want us to see regarding Job’s friends. I want you to review how you conduct yourself with those around you – family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances.
First off, these three men started off on a good foot. They came and sat with Job for seven days and nights. When they saw Job and the condition he was, they wept for him, tore their robes and grieved with Job. Their initial intent was to sympathize and comfort him.
If those friends did nothing else but sit with him in silence, this would have been more than enough. Sometimes the only thing required or needed from us is our presence. People don’t need our words of wisdom or platitudes. They need to know we are with them and that they are not forgotten.
These friends most likely found Job living at the dump. This is where piles of ash was kept. He had become destitute, and his friends went to where he was at the lowest point in his life. That’s what good friends do. No matter how low you are, they know where you are. They are with you. They may not provide a hand out, money, food, clothing or shelter, but they are with you wherever you find yourself.
Unfortunately for Job, this is where the strength of the friendship ends. You see, these friends felt they had a right to speak to Job, to judge Job, to correct Job, and they didn’t have the first clue of the truth. Each friend has their moment to speak their mind. One even goes as far as to say he was speaking on God’s behalf. What he said was platitudes. What he said was not of God. In Job’s eyes, Job saw how little his friends really thought of him.
After Eliphaz’s speech, Job says in Job 16:2, I have heard many things like these. You are all miserable comforters. When you are speaking with or dealing with a loved one, what is your job? Are you judge? Are you called to correct – and sometimes we are. Sometimes we are called according to 2 Timothy 3:16, All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, to rebuke and correct with Scripture. If you notice when reading through Job, these men didn’t use Scripture.
Job, however, didn’t need correction or rebuking. He was a righteous man. What Job needed was comfort. How often have you spewed words of condemnation, judgment, correction when really your words should have been a balm for their soul? Job 16:5, Job tells his friends what he would do if he was in their shoes, Instead, I would encourage you with my mouth, and the consolation from my lips would bring relief.
Girlfriends, before you speak in reproof, rebuke, or correction, before you speak at all, I pray you are spending a lot of time in the lap of our heavenly Father. I pray the words you speak will be only the ones God gives you. Proverbs 10:19, When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is wise. If you say more than the words God gives, you are sinning. If you speak words God doesn’t give, you assist Satan during the testing season of a righteous person. If you speak words God doesn’t give, you may end up having to eat those words.
In Job 42, God speaks to Job’s so-called three friends. He tells Eliphaz, I am angry with you and your two friends for you have not spoken the truth about Me, as My servant Job has. God is so angry he repeats himself – Job 42:7 and 8. I don’t know about you, but the last thing I want is God angry with me and repeating Himself.
These three know-it-alls were instructed to offer a burnt offering for themselves in Job’s presence, and when Job prays for them, God will accept Job’s prayer. Talk about humbling. If you find that you spoke out of turn, without God’s leadership, without God’s word, then you need to make it right. You must go and ask for forgiveness. Matthew 5:23-24, Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. This verse is not a suggestion. It’s a command.
Girlfriends, what kind of friend are you when testing occurs in the lives of others? Let your words be few.