2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
Growing up in a family of constant chaos made living life quite hard and depressing. My mom was the spiritual leader of the house. My momma raised me in church, and we were there every time the doors were open. My dad was an alcoholic. I saw my mom go through some of the most horrific fights with terrible outcomes, yet she loved my dad and loved the Lord. She vowed to stay until he took his last breath. The good news is he was saved two years prior to passing, and I will see him in heaven one day.
At the age of 15, I attended church summer camp and asked Jesus to come into my heart. I remember the excitement I felt. When I returned home, life was great for a while, but eventually peer pressure mounted up, and I made a turn down the wrong road. I began to live a life not very pleasing to God. Right after high school, I moved out and got married. My marriage failed, and I found myself raising two small children on my own. This started a pattern of me going in and out of marriages and making all the wrong decisions in my search for happiness.
I continued living life just as I pleased. However, I did continue going to church, being active and involved in Sunday school and singles events. Yet I wasn’t turning to the true One that could help me.
I went to church.
I sat in the seat.
I played the part.
I would take my Bible to church and go home and place it on a shelf and didn’t pick it back up until the next Sunday. I knew what was right and what was wrong. I just didn’t want to completely change my life.
In July 2008, I rededicated my life to the Lord. I began to see some new beginnings in my life and to experience things I’d never experienced before. I knew God was working on me. Life rocked along for a while, and I took another bad turn. Again, giving in and giving up.
In early 2012, I went down a road of deep depression. I didn’t want to admit it, but a dear friend of mine pointed this out to me. I didn’t seem to fit in anywhere. I really don’t even know why, other than Satan had gotten a hold of me again.
I church-hopped for a while until I finally just stopped going. After about three months of trying to do this thing called life on my own, I decided to return to church. I needed my church family, and I needed God. Within two weeks, on July 3, 2012, I was diagnosed with Ductal Carcinoma in Situ, breast cancer.
WOW! Such devastating news! I was all alone when I received the news. I’ll never forget that day. I cried for what seemed like hours. I didn’t know what to do. All I could do was cry. I began to ask God why. Why me? Am I really that bad of a person? I suddenly felt I was being punished. I began to call out to God asking for His help. Romans 8:26 tells us that when we don’t know what to pray or how to pray the Holy Spirit takes over and prays for us.
God began to do some amazing things for me. He placed some women in my life who helped in so many ways: going with me to doctor appointments, helping me ask the right questions, sitting with me, talking with me, and so many other things. In the midst of my cancer journey, He worked out things that I never thought possible. I have so many awesome stories, too many to tell in this setting.
He also brought an amazing young lady into my life. God used this young lady to call me into His ministry. It’s amazing how God moved in and through me and continues to do so. I had two surgeries and radiation without chemo. I am completely healed. My journey through cancer was actually an amazing journey. You might say, really or why? It’s because God brought me closer to Him than I had ever been. He called me into the ministry for women, and my testimony keeps growing each day! Cancer is a nasty word, but I no longer look at it the same way.
Christ is the big “C” who holds the future and cancer is now the little “c”. I love to talk about Jesus. He is my everything, and, because of Him, I can face tomorrow!