My Past Does Not Determine My Future
Let me just start off by saying, I’m not proud of my past, but I am not who I was in my past anymore.
My past does not define my worth today. My past does NOT determine my future.
I’ve been dragging around my past every day because people won’t let me forget it, and people won’t forgive me either. If I wanted to get a fresh start here, I don’t know how I’d even do it. Everyone knows who I am, what I’ve done, and what I’ve been.
My choices today determine my future, and today, I feel so light, so free, unburdened. Some people think I made a spectacle of myself today, as if I’m not used to that feeling. Some wonder how I even had the gall to do what I did given my past. Some think I was wasteful.
But you know what? It doesn’t matter what some people think. It doesn’t matter at all! Because today, I am free. I am free from the baggage, the pain, the guilt. I am free from the sin and heaviness I’ve carried. I am no longer the woman I was when I woke up this morning. I AM FREE!
Isn’t it crazy how one insane act can change your future, and yet my future is going to be so different. I still have hurdles to overcome and battles ahead, but the tightness in my chest, the weight on my shoulders is gone, and all because I met a man.
Before you stop reading, this isn’t about some man who used me or wanted one thing from me. He was different. He wanted nothing from me.
I’m not wanted in a lot of places especially where the high and mighty and self-righteous tend to be, but I heard he was at Simon’s house. By threatening to expose secrets, I was able to make my way into Simon’s house where this man was. From my perspective, it was the only way I’d get close to this man because people like me were NOT allowed to associate with Pharisees.
I had heard this man teach before. When he spoke, it was powerful. He spoke right to my soul. He told us to repent. Goodness knows it took me a long time to repent, but I did it. And here he was reclining at a table in front of me.
I couldn’t help myself. He had taken away my guilt and shame. The heaviness I had carried for so long was removed. I made my way to him. The tears came and poured down my face. I bowed down to his feet and began washing them with my tears. Sin after sin, tear after tear, falling away.
I wasn’t sure how he was going to respond, but he was compassionate. He allowed me to wash his feet with my tears and dry them with my hair, and then I kissed and anointed them with the oil from my alabaster jar. At first my tears were because of my shame but then they turned to tears of joy knowing Jesus was allowing me, a sinner, to wash his feet. Unworthy. I am so unworthy.
People were judging me. I didn’t care. I was compelled to do this. I had to do this thing. While I was anointing and kissing his feet, he tells Simon that no one washed his feet when he came into Simon’s home as is the custom. No one anointed his head with oil either, and yet, here I was washing his feet with my tears and anointing his feet with oil. Then the best words I’ve ever heard came from Jesus’ mouth, “I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven: that’s why she loves much.”
Then Jesus turned to me, as if my day could not get any better, and he said, “Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”
Her story can be found in Mark 7:36-50.
On YouTube, the Imperials sing a song called “Forgiven.” The words are, “I’m forgiven. Now I have a reason for livin’. Jesus keeps givin’ and givin’, givin’ till my heart overflows.” I can’t help but think that this woman had to have felt like her heart was overflowing that day. Can you?
Not only did she receive forgiveness, but her faith grew. She met the Messiah. She received peace.
She received forgiveness and peace. How many in this world are hungry for both?
She received the peace that passes all understanding. Philippians 4:7, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” How amazing is that!?
Hers was a life transformed. That’s what happens when you have an authentic experience with the Savior. You cannot help but be changed.
In Her Sandals is not an attempt to add to the Scripture. I do some research and attempt to slip on her sandals. I wonder what she might have heard, seen, felt, tasted, smelled and done all while I’m reading the Scripture. Then I write what I would have done in her sandals.
I look forward to meeting this sweet lady in heaven one day and to hear her tell this story for herself.